Club AGM and election news

Electoral frenzy in Little Gaddesden is now at fever-pitch, perhaps encouraged by events in America.  True politicos see Trump/Clinton as very much an appetiser for the real contest on 27th November.  A number of electors have asked for details of the candidates and their policies.  The following is an attempt to meet that need, although due to circumstances, I regret that it does not entirely do so.  The following incumbents are standing for re-election:

Club Chair:  Steve ‘Chain-saw’ Hockin.  The quietly-spoken mastermind of the KS organisation has transformed it’s fortunes during his rule chairmanship.  Wanted in 7 counties.  His precise policies remain shrouded in mystery, as he tends to keep below the radar, and journalists who approach too closely have a habit of disappearing.

Club Secretary: Sean ‘Baby Face’ Collins: General fixer, who is allegedly much feared in Little Gaddesden.  He spends much of the year abroad, attending to his other ‘interests’.  Wanted in 5 counties.  Generally thought to be ambivalent on the vexed Great Gaddesden issue (see below).

Club Treasurer: ‘Desperate’ David Commerford.  Known for his lavish lifestyle and love of fast motorbikes.  Wanted in only 3 counties, and therefore thought something of a cissy by his fellow committee members.  They are reluctant to move against him however, due to his close links with the village hall authorities, notably the sultry Ms P.

The only announced contender so far is Lord Dowden of Macaroon, who is running on a ticket of ‘Make Little Gaddesden Great again’.  He assures me that any link to his own estates in the neighbouring Great Gaddesden parish is entirely coincidental.  He is certainly a reform candidate however.  It is not clear which of the three great offices he is going for, but such is the way of dilettante Lord D.

Other possible candidates are circling hungrily, and canvassing support.  It is thought that endorsement from the powerful Pitchfork Lobby in Little Gaddesden will be a key factor in achieving electoral success.  

Burlington H Grumble
West Herts Clarion

PS Just a reminder that all those attending the AGM are entitled to nominate candidates and vote.  The AGM will be preceded by the Vikings! game, and the doodle is here if you have not already registered https://doodle.com/poll/ikgd7h9h5psb8f39

A spokesman for 'Chain-saw' has issued the following statement......

"Wanted in only 7 counties, what are the knucklehead investigators in the other 5 doing? Do they not recognise my handiwork when they see it?"

I read this and thought it was news from America.

Well if you can make it across the pond, Mike, you're welcome to vote. You might even be elected

Martin (J)

One day I will be there!!!

Vote Rufus on 27th November and I will

1 Eject the alien reptile establishment from office

2 Build a wall round the umpire room to contain them

3 Make the Treasurer pay for it, with the subs he has secreted (appropriately) in the Cayman Islands

4 Put a stop to unBritish Senior Citizens' Sumo Wrestling in our village hall

5 Make Little Gaddesden Great Gaddesden again

There's murky work afoot here.  Club members should be aware that there are strong links between Rufus and wealthy plutocrat Lord Dowden of Macaroon.  Their policies are certainly remarkably similar.

In another development, 'Baby Face' Collins, the esteemed club secretary, has been seen cavorting aboard Lord Dowden's super yacht in Monte Carlo.  Lord Dowden's daughter and heir, winsome socialite Carlotta (age 23), is of course currently unattached.  Could a split in the ruling troika be developing?  Is poor Rufus aware of these developments?  Perhaps he is being used as a patsy?

Burlington H Grumble
Society Correspondent, Little Gaddesden Enquirer

Due to various health issues it is necessary to defer the Club AGM until the first part of next year. It will now be held immediately after the kriegsspiel on Sunday 19th March 2017.

The game on 27 November will still take place but will now be a Diplomacy variant, instead of Vikings!, which will be run at a later date.

Martin (J)

It appears there is now a constitutional crisis. The terms in office have ended but there will be no election for several months. The group is without a legitimate government. In the interim, I shall offer myself up as temporary, benevolent(?), dictator. Let's make Kriegsspiel great again!

As a forgotten, working class white citizen, I'll vote for you.

But gentlemen..............wealthy plutocrat Lord Dowden of Macaroon is already standing as candidate for the underprivileged.  What more do you need?

Bemused of Little Gaddesden

Coup d'état!!!!! Together we are Stronger.

I think this election will be rigged. The only chance for Kriegsspiel will be a coup.

Election fever!

The delayed election of KS Club officials will take place on Sunday 19th March, right after the 1809 game.

After a bacchanalian Xmas break, the politicos and spin-doctors are once again in action, and rumours abound.

The most persistent concerns a mysterious dossier on billionaire Lord Dowden of Macaroon, and concerns an alleged all-expenses-paid stay at the Milton Keynes Travel Lodge in 2008, on the occasion of the Miss Milton Keynes Beauty Pageant.  It is not clear that the document even exists, let alone what it might contain.  The prestigious Milton Keynes Travel Lodge of course, is part-owned by ‘Chain-saw’ Hockin, the Club’s current Chair.

A requested interview with Lord Macaroon has not yet been granted.

Burlington H Grumble, Chief Political Correspondent
Milton Keynes Chronicle

LATEST.....more details of the reported dossier have emerged.  It was supposedly compiled by a consultancy firm run by suave ex-MI6 desk-officer, Miles Beauchamp-Staggers, who is apparently now in hiding.  It must be stated that The Milton Keynes Chronicle has yet to see a copy of this document however.

Lord Dowden of Macaroon is one of the most overrated billionaires in England. Sad.

Latest polling suggests we will have at least a dozen attendees for the 1809 Danube campaign game, and the following Club AGM.

A high turn-out traditionally favours the incumbent administration, but much is different this year, and there is still all to play for.  

The opposing candidates have already reacted to these numbers, and there are rumours that committee members plan to hold a mass-rally on the day.  Meanwhile saintly oligarch Lord Dowden of Macaroon has booked the umpire room for a meet-and-great session.  Signed photos of Lord D, plus Pims and canapés will be available for those who pledge their support.

Still room for more attendees.  Here's the doodle http://doodle.com/poll/fezb6kn8292fv53c

Burlington H Grumble, Consulting Psephologist
Little Gaddesden Enquirer

Massive voting fraud by illegal aliens. Disgusting.

No, no my dear fellow.  Let me assure you that everything is above board.  

Now, let me just wipe-off this purple slime.

....and greetings from the planet Mwaarg

My friend Lord Dowden has asked, and authorised, me to state categorically that he has never visited, and intends never to visit, that common habitation which is called Milton Keynes.

He believes Mr James, the well known eminence grise behind the Chiltern Kriegsspiel Circle, set an excellent precedent only last year in erasing Milton Keynes completely from a map of England.

His Lordship goes so far as to state that he would rather visit the Planet Mwaarg than Milton Keynes, since the former place is in his view likely to contain a lesser amount of slime.