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Battle of Waterloo - Vegetable style

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Battle of Waterloo - Vegetable style

Post  Khryses on Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:09 pm

We visited Apsley House today, enjoying a visit to the Iron Duke's home and exploring his artistic and historical collections.

As we're approaching the anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo, the Waterloo Festival was on and (among other things) we enjoyed a recreation of the battle as performed by an assortment of onions, baguettes, carrots, garlic, aubergines and a stray zucchini. Picture quality is a little grainy (only had my phone on me), but I took a few snaps to share with those interested.

Here we can see the British orange-coats arrayed ahead of the Wellington Apple. Garlic gun-batteries are arrayed on the forward slope, while detached forlorn hopes are defending the fortified lemons of Hougoumont and La Haye Sainte.

Across the valley the French onion battalions are arrayed ahead of the baguette cavalry corps. Finally at the back we can see Zucchini Bonaparte.

As the ground dries, the French batteries open up on the British line...

...and advance a series of columns against Hougoumont on the right. 


Despite both British forward positions coming under threat from French infantry. Napoleon's plan (as reported by our friendly redcoat) is to draw extra carrots over to his right, then advance a column of onions against a thinner allied left.

The Duke of Apples declines to cooperate, and Zucchini Bonaparte sends in his column regardless.

The Allied left starts falling back, but the British cavalry moves up and drives back the column of onions, who fall back under hot pursuit. Uxbridge becomes overextended, and is promptly jumped by French lancers, his horses blown. His command is effectively eliminated. 

As the fight goes on, the French baguettes drive forward against carrot lines already disarrayed by the constant artillery fire. La Haye Sainte has fallen and so the cavalry advances unopposed - but the British form into squares and repel them in wave after wave - the garlic gunners retreat into the square, then return to their guns to fire into the baguettes as they reform and come again and again. The squares largely hold strong against the swarming cavalry, who manage to block any supporting fire from the French batteries.

At long last the French baguettes fall back, blown and no longer a serious threat. The British lines reform, and - once again under heavy fire from the Zucchini's grand battery - the Duke of Apples orders them back twenty paces, behind the ridge-line where they take cover. Encouraged by their apparent retreat - and the Prussian Aubergine coming into view to the east - Bonaparte forms up the Imperial Guard against the disordered line and the drums begin to roll.

Note: Owing to a sad lack of onions, the engagement around Plancenoit wasn't shown in this stirring recreation of English vegetables and French breadsticks.

The column draws near to the worn British lines, and Wellington calls up Maitland's Guard from their concealment behind the ridge. They pour point-blank fire into the head of the column and for the first time the Imperial Guard starts to balk...

Allied light infantry move up and start firing into their flank without orders, and after taking volley after volley of fire, at long last the veteran onions begin to scatter back across the carpet of Waterloo. As the aubergines spilled into the French flank, the Battle of Waterloo was won...


I couldn't resist - and yes, I promise not to start trying  to organize a vegetable-sprite-update for the Nap Mod ^^

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Join date : 2012-04-26

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Re: Battle of Waterloo - Vegetable style

Post  Mr. Digby on Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:27 pm

Excellent report sir! So after defeating the French we seem to have captured large numbers of onions and baguettes, sufficient to feed the troops for the night.

I'm surprised they used garlic for the British guns, a French Grand Battery of garlics would have been very appropriate, with perhaps King Edwards for the British 9pdr batteries and Charlottes for the 6pdrs. Need a broccoli floret or two to represent the 95th in the salt cellar!

The other Martin - Charles Reille, le dernier Maréchal de France.

"Any hussar who has not got himself killed by the age of 30 is a jackass." - Antoine Charles Louis Lasalle, commander of Napoleon's light cavalry, killed in battle at Wagram 6 July 1809, aged 34.

"I had forgotten there was an objective." - Generallieutenant Mikhail Borozdin I
Mr. Digby

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Re: Battle of Waterloo - Vegetable style

Post  Khryses on Sun Jun 16, 2013 10:43 pm

Ah yes, the 2/95th was out in force providing military drill, historical equipment displays and tales of a soldier's life - including the recruitment process.

Made the sole French Voltigeur look almost bland by comparison, when he followed up.

In the end we got distracted by all the festival fun for over two hours before we twigged to the fact that we were in a spectacular Georgian residence once more. Laughing

Incidentally, I don't suppose any of you gentlemen have Jac Weller's Wellington at Waterloo?

The last copy in the gift shop sold while we were watching the root vegetables see off the alium assault.

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